When the sky is not too much

Once upon a time, everyone surrounding me wanted me to believe I couldn't achieve my dreams... they were just, too silly, too unattainable, unrealistic, naïve... And no, I haven't gotten to any of those dreams yet, but at least now, there's quite less voices saying I can't, and the change began with me saying I CAN, because I'm strong and I'm a caring, compassionate and intense person, and I've decided to believe in me, whatever that ends up looking like.

Starting to take a bit more action, still feel idle. It's an odd feeling, knowing you're worth a million bucks but feeling you won't do anything right, or you won't be enough.

Life is so fucking confusing, it's so weird, there's so many expectations, so much judgement, when we all are way more similar than we think.

Humanity has been broken for way too long, and it doesn't seem like it's gonna get fixed anytime soon. Life is scary, and confusing, and... chaotic. Everything around me is crumbling. I don't really know what to do to survive.

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The lines and dots in history

Such an amazing concept... that of linearity. We believe things are linear, maybe at intervals... giving us dots.

Many believe in the stars being close, others think many are crazy, but who are we to judge on this country.

I just watched this old video by Dakota, and just loved it as it resonated so much with what I'm going through. I recommend watching it!

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Starting ballet at 27

Eloooooo!

Long time no see. I've kinda forgotten about the blog for the past few months, too much work to do, too many worries... It's been a time of change again for me. I loved working at Lush with all my heart, loved the people, loved the place, loved everything but working 6 days a week, having a rotating schedule and being unable to fully disconnect. So I did what I do best, I kept on my quest for happiness, and thus, I quit.

Right now I'm just floating in universe, waiting for some injuries [that kept me on leave for two months] to heal. On September the 5th I started ballet. During my teens I fell in love with [specially] classic ballet, and I became obsessed. I managed to convince my mother, when I was 16, to take like a crash course with 6 year olds for a week. Ever since I felt like it's something I would have greatly enjoyed. At the time tho I was really busy with school and my extracurriculars. Now that I'm 27, sort of an stablished adult, I decided it was time to try it out! And so I did.

This is the first time, in my life, that I'm enjoying exercising... I've never ever enjoyed doing sport, until I tried ballet. Oh la la, it makes me feel amazing, I sweat like crazy, I'm getting strong and working on my flexibility, and I always want to train more! To me it's a really odd feeling, but I enjoy it despite.

I, in class, feel stupid some times, you feel like you're doing something beautiful... until you take a look in the mirror and realize you look like a fool XD But you can see improvements quickly, and honestly, after the first couple of classes all my fear and shame just went out the window, I was there to learn and be able to play something beautiful with my body.

Body confidence has also been big with this, I'm not that big, I think, but I'm the biggest in class, at least I'm not the oldest [by far] XD I've been battling with my body for the past 4 years, and I, at last, have found a form of exercise that I enjoy and want to do!

This is all for now, maybe next I'll show you my fave items for class as a beginner!

See ya later, alligators.

♥

Traveling solo (and injured)

At the end of June I had booked a weekend trip to go on my own to either London, Oslo or Stockholm through Waynabox which is a nice service we've had here in Spain for a bit! The thing is, one week before that I sprained my ankle pretty badly, and after a few days of desperation, crying and anxiety I finally decided on going! On my own, for a long weekend, to Stockholm, with my crutches and a backpack. BAAAAM!

(On my way to Stockholm!)

The idea of doing a trip on my own came to me as I was feeling better mentally on the past few months. In fact, a therapist I had a few years ago suggested it to me as a chance of growing and improving mentally, and it hadn't crossed my mind until this year. I'm a very dependent person, I love relying on, basically, Eric, and know that I have someone to lean on (literally and figuratively XD). This trip, although 3 days long, was a big thing for me, it was going to be my first trip alone, and ended up being my first trip alone with crutches, greeeeeeat.

The experience was diverse. The first day I was happy-sad, excited and anxious... there was gonna be no one once I got to Stockholm in which to rely on to how to get to the city, for example. I know it sounds stupid, but those things I didn't realize until I did this... Once I got to the hostel and everything I felt pretty realized and good, although tired of almost 4h of plane (the longest for me) and the hour from Arlanda to Stockholm center.

The first night I felt lonely, the loneliest I've felt in many years. But it was great after that first night, although with crutches I had a great time, I enjoyed so much Stockholm that I just wanna go right back. I decided to step outside of my comfort zone, and then did it again, and I can't even begin to describe how good it felt.

I highly encourage you to take a trip alone, even if it just for a day, or three, like I did, now I feel much more confident on traveling alone, I in fact want to, and learning to be on your own can be weird at first, but great in the end.

First sight of Stockholm from the Hotel

First meal! A vegan lunchbox

Inside of the City Hall

A cheerful cherub outside the city hall

Entering Djurgården

The Nordiska Museet at Djurgården

Pretty square on Gamla Stan

A kanelbulle the size of my head

View of Djurgården from a boat

Mandatory snack on boat ride - Stockholm, you've got delicious chips!

On my bus back to the airport :(

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Cycling Barcelona . Looking for Art #2

I love cycling around Barcelona and finding little art gems around. It's so ridiculously fullfilling, when I find a piece that I really like! The two last ones I specially love, the first says "more sea means more sailing" and the last one is just amazingly delicate and detailed! I love how artists take over abandoned walls and make them pieces of art that anyone can enjoy by just walking around.

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Cycling Barcelona . Looking For Art

I used to love photography and art. I still love them, but they are hobbies that with the media revolution I lost touch with, but lately I've been craving picking up my bike and discover every little corner of where I live trying to find some nice pieces of street art, which I love a good piece of. There's also some facades I couldn't resist. Enjoy.

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· T H E    S T R E E T   A R T ·

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I hope to find more gems around soon and keep exploring my city.

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5 Things: Currently Listening

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· LANA DEL REY - BORN TO DIE ·

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Ever since I heard blue jeans I fell in love with that song, but didn't really look more of Lana del Rey. This month I started looking for her music on Spotify and I hit jackpot! I love Born to die, even though I get scared of most of the songs and the vive alongside the album is really dark and creepy imo, but I love the melodies and her voice. In the list below you can find my faves! - a.k.a. the one's I usually keep on loop XD

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· WARDRUNA ·

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Eric introduced me to Wardruna last month, they are a - quoting wikipedia - musical project based on Nordic spiritualism and the runes of Elder Futhark, all in all is what I imagine vikings would be listening to! Each album is based on a set of runes and it's basically really good music to get focused or just relax! I've been loving getting them on background when at work.

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· WASHED OUT - PARACOSM ·

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I first found out about this album at a store! I saw the album and I thought it was gorgeous, and that I might even like the music - without having an idea whatsoever of what it sounded like, haha, like when you see a book and think it would be really awesome just for it's cover!. Then browsing through Spotify one day I found that cover, and I couldn't but to open it, and I really loved it! Again, really good music with beautiful melodies to get focused on something or to just relax.

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· UNISONIC - LIGHT OF DAWN ·

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I am a lover of most branches of metal, but specially power metal - think barroque music meets metal, it's the best way I can describe it! Unisonic was founded by Michael Kiske - former Helloween singer -, one of my all time favorite singers and one of the first I listened to - through Helloween - when I discovered metal alongside with Stratovarius, Blind Guardian and Edguy amongst others. Their first album was more on the heavy metal end, but their last one - Light of Dawn - is a whole ode to power metal, and I instantly loved it!

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· THE OFFSPRING - RISE AND FALL, RAGE AND GRACE ·

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I've liked The Offspring since my mid teens, when I became interested in more punk rock music and found The Offspring and Blink-182, they don't disappoint! This past week I thought about them and was browsing through their latest albums - since I hadn't listened to anything new of them since 2003, and stumbled upon this album. I loved it, as it usually happens with them, but I specially got stuck with 'You're gonna go far, kid' and I've had it on loop for the past 3 days at work XD

What have you been listening to lately?

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Random Loves | Board Games

Hello my lovelies!

So playing "role" based board games is one of my all time favorite entertainments! Today I wanted to show you my top 5 games that I usually want to play over and over again. If you've never tried this kind of board game you're truly missing out! (Well, maybe you won't like it, but most of board games have sections where you can try'em, so it's nice to go look around and try some).

I started playing this kind of board games when I was 16 and my school friend group shifted, and so my new group introduced me to Risk. It was a whole new world to me, and I fell in love. Later on they showed me Bang, and I Bought my first role-playing board game called Zombies!!!. It was amazing finding out about this kind of harmless, easy and super fun entertainment whilst What all my "ex"-friends and other colleagues wanted to do was going partying and finding people to make out (like... what?), I was nothing like that and that's one of the main reason of my rift.

So here is my favorite board games!

Carcassone

A must! This one I could play all day long - no kidding - my boyfriend is sick of me just wanting to play to this. Also we have like a bazillion of the gazillion expansions it has and so it's even better! This one main objective is to build a town/country between all players, being each player looking for their wealth (a.k.a accumulating points) or trying to make the rest get less. It's really nice and you go on building castles, abbeys, roads and farm land! The concept is pretty simple but this game never gets old!

Munchkin

Oh la la, this game is HILARIOUS. The illustrations, names and monsters in it are all absurd and so darn funny! In this game you go "exploring" dungeons in which you can find monsters you'll have to fight, curses, instant attacks, etc... and you can also win treasures by killing the monsters and other special cards. The thing is that wins the one which reaches to 10 lives - you start with 1 and win them by killing monsters and with special cards - and you can have a class and a race with special features! To get to 10 lives is a simple concept, but as you approach them all the opponents will try really hard for you not to win! And so it's really fun and exhilarating all the time.

Mascarade

This is the newest one we've gotten, and it's already in the top selection! - just sayin' - This is mainly a game of confusion and memory in which you have to accumulate 13 coins to win. You start with 6 coins (I think) and a random card with a character, in the first round everyone shows its card and that's the moment when you have to make sure to know where every character is! In the next rounds players can switch their card with another player's (mixing them first so no one except him/her knows what's going on), look at their own character or announce they are a certain character - in which case may be told they are not by others making the announcer and themselves show the card they have - in order to win coins as their role states. Overall is quite an intricate game, but if you're up for it it's amazingly entertaining! Also the number of players can be between 2 and 12! which is amazing because you don't have to worry because you are too many to play! (what's more, the more players the better, at least is what we've experienced!)

Saboteur
In this game you play as a dwarf! Each player takes a card in which can be a "good" dwarf or a "bad" dwarf (a.k.a. a saboteur!), and the game consists in digging through a mine (building paths) in order to get to one of the 3 possible goal cards! Only one of the 3 possibilities hold a big chunk of gold (yeah, you know dwarves) and in between the "path" cards you can find prohibitions to construct which you can throw at other players, "release" cards for those prohibitions and explosion cards! The goal of the saboteur/s is to make it impossible to the good dwarfs to get to the gold! This game is super fun, and again never gets old!

Jungle speed
This game I have to warn you... it's kinda violent! XD You have a totem in the middle of the table and each player has an equal chunk of cards upside down. Then the players start getting cards from the top of their decks which have geometrical forms and combinations, when two players have the same figure in the card they have to reach for the totem! The one who got it first gives his/hers discarded cards to the one who lost the "combat".  The goal of the game is to be left without cards! All figures are tricky and try to fool the eye so you have to be quick and a good observer! The violence part is, at least for me, that I always play with guys, and so... they reach REALLY hard for the totem, like in "I'm gonna slap your hand really hard" kind of way XD but it's super fun and I love it! just warn your friends to take off any rings and to trim their nails beforehand!

And these are my top 5 board games to play with my friends and family! I hope you got to know any new games or that this served as an introductory guide to fun and amazing board games!

Do you have any favorite board game to play with friends/family? Please tell me about it in the comments!

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5 Things: Currently Listening | Chill times

Hello my lovelies!

I am a real music fanatic. A day doesn't go by without listening to anything. I've always loved music (and studied music for 10 years) and so it's a fundamental part of my life. My music taste is very extensive and I like lots of styles, but most of the days you could find me listening to power metal or electronic/alternative music.

Today I'm gonna focus on the music I listen when I wanna focus, get motivated or leave the world behind and just relax. At the bottom of the post you'll find a little playlist so you can listen to the songs. All these songs are basically instrumental and amazing, so keep that in mind ;)

01 - deadmau5 - Strobe

This song is one of my favorite deep focus songs. I usually play while having rainymood open and it relaxes me to a superior level. I've had this song in loop for weeks at work, and I'm still not tired of it :) As for the rest of their songs, I haven't really dig too much around, but for what I've listened to this song is the only one I like, at least to get focused.

02 - The glitch mob - Fortune days

I found out about this band a month ago at most and has quickly come to the top position of my most listened to! I absolutely love all their albums, but this song is something above, it's such an amazing composition, I've also had it on loop (yeah, I'm that kind of person XD) and it's a great focus/motivation song to listen to. I highly recommend all their albums!

03 - Ratatat - Shempi 

This is another group that I found out this year, and ever since have been loving. I love all their albums and they keep my ears satisfied and my brain happy. This song is amazing, but I repeat, all of their songs are uber amazing, relaxing if you're in the mood to relax yet focusing and motivating if that's the mood you're in.

04 - Explosions in the Sky - Your hand in mine

I found this song through a "deep focus" list on Spotify and ever since have been loving it. It's gorgeous to listen to, the harmonies are so well found, it gives me goosebumps every single time! As you can tell I really enjoy me some music. Explosions in the Sky used to make their own instrumental albums but recently have been making (awesome) soundtracks.

05 - Chrome Sparks - Marijuana

Chrome Sparks is a band I found out through one of Sammi/beautycrush's videos last year, and have been in love with them ever since. Their music is complex, inspiring and relaxing. I've used it on my bike to speed up and in bed to relax, and never fails. I highly recommend almost all of their songs (I've got a couple that I don't enjoy, but just a couple!).

I've added a couple songs more I thought you might enjoy! Let me know what you think :)

What do you listen to when you wanna relax, focus or motivate yourself?

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