I'm struggling

It's been a few rough months.

I'm in a very dark place. Most things don't make sense anymore. I'm lost in space, and it looks like there's nothing to hold on to whilst floating.

You can be loved, you can be praised, you can be social, you can be fake. I usually have a curtain, it's not to hide in but to try and fix myself. I love my normal (non psychologically affected) self, but it's been a good while since I've been her.

Floating isn't that bad... but I don't wanna float forever, I just wan to get my brain fixed, and function as the human I should be. But, what does that even mean? The human I should be? I still haven't even defined what I should be... everything is so unknown, so trivial, I'm lost.

I hope just writing some of my thoughts will help myself. Mostly not, but, I know there's at least one person out there who can relate... and it's fucking awful, isn't it?

♥